weiard tells

My bro Ricky told me about this mag Wierd Tales he saw up at the B.Daltons and since i love heaby Metal i hcecked it out but its' not like HeavymEtal. No necked girls and alien comics and no adds for bongz in the back and i thnink its got too many words and i Dont see how your supossed to read it before the nex issue come out . That too much to reead. it wasnt worth teh trouble took me shopliffing it on my break at work but i did see Amber in th efood court and that shit was cool.
She stil talks about what i did to taht boy in shop class back in eight grade and I think she want me.

Review of: THE SECRET HISTRY OF RUSSIA

so I been readin where this one russian dude is braggin on how he stole Robot JOrdans' skull, like just totally graverobbign or whatever, and how AWESOME is that!?

I mean I figure teh dudes rusian coz he talks real funny, I dunno

and like i always rekoned russsian's where pussies on account of how Prez. Raygun kicked there ASSES in Vietnam and then we done it again in red Dawn. But this skull stealign dude is hard CORE. Like maybe he's in spetznazz or somethin?

And so Ricky and me wer'e smokin up and we got to talkign how when you think abot it rusians are kinda cool! Like one time Ricky says he saw on the HIstory chanel that when we wer fitigng em in WW2 it got real cold and ther wasnt no food so they all just started eatin on each other. hard CORE!

And so i think maybe i should be readin more bad ass russain spetnazt shit. so i go out and i buy myself THE SECRET HISTRY OFM OSCOW by Ekakataktarattarinka Sedia




aNd let me tell you guys that was one big fuckign mistake

i dont knoww hat it was about and i dont care and nothin cool happend and you know what? Turns out Ektaraktiriktironi is a chick's name! and how was i supposd to know? Im an American i dont speak russian! They tricked me into readin a chick book!

currrent mood: PISSED!

Review of Thunderer

the man at the B. Dalton next to the tobacco shop at the mall tol me this was a real good fantasy book and I like fantazy I've read everything R.A Salvatore wrote and Heavy Metal is my foavorite movie to get baked by so I took his advice and bought Thunderer by Felix Gilman.

First of all this book ahs a abad ass cover. Its some dude with a knife and he's like flying next to a pirate ship and so I figured this has got to be good. It'z a little thick and I couldnt read it at the detail shop on my lunchbreak so it took longer to read it but itjust goes to show you that you cant judge a book by its cover because this book is all about gods and princesses and monks that dont even know karate

When i first started reading thunderer I hoped that it would be about cannons because of that AC DC song but its not. Theres some fighting in it but theres no pirats or even elfs an d I don't see how you can cal it fantasy without elvs.

Its no good so dont read it I may hollow it out and keep my pipe in it though.